Refreshing Monday...

Yesterday turned out really well...

It was what I needed. Good workout during the day, came home and went out for a few brews with my roommate, and came home and watched the Hangover. Excellent time hanging out with the roommate instead of by myself.

I even got up super early to run with the meetup.com group, which went well. My knee still feels pretty good.. I'm going to baby it quite a bit while I'm getting back into it, but it seems good so far.

Roller coaster ride with me, I know.

Ahh the struggles...

I need to figure myself out. More than anything, my mind is keeping me from accomplishing my goals. Which boil down to be healthy, be happy. And they go hand in hand, generally. This weekend was not good. I let me loneliness get the best of me, I guess. Saturday was good, a 6 mile hike with a couple of friends. After that, the rest of the weekend was spent watching tv and eating.. and watching TV and eating... and.... you get the picture.

I could go over the list of what I ate, but you've heard it all before, and probably been there yourselves. It wasn't even that great. It was that emotional eating that really kills lives. I can't tell you exactly what caused this weekend of despair and mild depression...

I guess I'm just not feeling like I fit in here. I have a few friends, but not really good friends. I also don't have a social network of so-so friends to fall back on to go do things with. I felt kind of lost. Like I had no purpose. So instead of doing the few things I should have, I laid around feeling sorry for myself.

Today is a new day, the beginning of a new week, and I'm going to try to get my head right. Start keeping track of what I want to accomplish. Lists keep me in a good place, give me something to work towards, something to finish. I'm going to look into places I can volunteer. I have a lot of free time now, which is probably what's really eating at me, so I should spend it doing some good in this crazy world.

Hope things are going well with you, I'm feeling better today, because I'm at work, being productive, having a purpose, and enjoying it.

To a good week!

Why??

I think I should think about why I embarked on this journey, and why I'm continuing.

I am now only 8-9 pounds above a "healthy" weight. I feel pretty good about my progress, but I feel like I have a long way to go. The way the weight packed on during the holidays was kind of scary. It wasn't as fast as when I was really gaining, but I wasn't working out at all and it comes slowly and steadily. I also noticed a change in my outlook as time went on, in retrospect. I became more introverted and didn't want to do much with other people, besides eat.

I get a real high out of working out now. I feel really good right now, the buzz of my muscles from the workout I just did. It's great! I also enjoy how it changes my attitude on things. Things that would stress me out if I was on an unhealthy kick don't seem to do much. I take things in stride. I'm more social. I just feel happier and healthier.

That's the main reason I want to continue. I also want to see how far I can get. Can I look like some superstar athlete? Is it possible? I would like to think yes. I enjoy pushing myself to my limits and seeing where I break. It grounds me and shows me that I can do a lot more than I sometimes give myself credit for.

Hopefully I can keep this feeling going forward and not have too many slipups along the way.

Sore...

It hurts to walk. I weight lifted legs yesterday, for the first time in pretty much ever. I usually just consider running and biking good enough to get my legs in good shape. But, I haven't been doing that much. And this really kicked my butt. It's probably good for me.

Food is going well. Getting into the swing of being healthy again. Not having those bingey cravings, at the moment. Starting to get some motivation and thinking about the beach in a few months.

It's also getting lighter out, which is nice. I'll probably start swimming again soon, whenever it's light enough out in the morning that I feel like going to the pool before work.

Pretty boring post. But I'm feeling much better in general.

Staying strong...

Third day of tracking and not getting ridiculous. I feel really good about it! The first day was hell. Yesterday wasn't as bad, I actually had to have a snack because I needed more cals. Today feels pretty good as well... My parents leave tomorrow morning so hopefully dinner doesn't kill me.

Working out is going well too. Getting some really good weight lifting in. I need to start the cardio again, but it feels good to get in the gym again after a month+.

Keep at it! Feels good.

One good day down

Yesterday went well. I tracked all day and was spot on calorie wise. Today I'm going to the gym with a coworker, hopefully it isn't too packed with new years people. Either way, I'm feeling much better today. I just feel like I'm back on track. I was kind of lost for awhile, I think. It's good to have a bunch of healthy food in the house and feel in control again.

I have plenty of work to do still, but it helped to look at how far I've come. I've lost over 40 pounds. Pretty fantastic. It does scare me that I will gain it all back and then some. I will just have to be really vigilant. I was thinking about it, and I was really opposed to having to track for the rest of my life. If it means I stay healthy and happy though, I don't think I really have a problem with it.

Just take it one day at a time, at this point. Give a few weeks to get back into the groove and see how they turn out. Hopefully I can keep this going and not slip off for awhile again. I really only have about 15-20 pounds to lose to be at goal, so that should be a piece of cake, right? Not if I eat a lot of cake!

Monday monday monday

Blech. I have some work to do. I'm up around 8 pounds from my lowest weight now. I'm having difficulty kickstarting myself.

I got used to being off plan for the last month, not really exercising, not eating well, just not caring. I had a balance for a few months where I didn't need to track and I still lost weight. I apparently lost that balance.

Time to kick it into gear. Right in time to join all the other new year's fanatics too.

Last night, I really wanted an apple pie. A whole apple pie. I didn't go to the store and get it though. I stayed at home and had some cereal and cottage cheese.

Time to own my life again and take control. Hopefully I find some motivation somewhere, because this is rough.